BUAQ | Newberry


These are Basically UnAnswered Questions. People have asked these, and I hemmed and/or hawed. I still haven’t figured out the answers, but here are my best guesses so far.  (I have abbreviated this BUAQ, but it could have easily been abbreviated VENTING.  It’s not that I dislike having people ask questions.  It’s just…well, it’s like this.)

Why was the 2009 Book Fair so successful?

(It was the weather. It was the great books. It was because the economy was down. It was because the economy was going up. It was because of the great publicity we got. It was because of my brilliant blog. It was because of the conjunction of the moon and Uranus. It was because I threatened to hold my breath until I turned blue if they didn’t buy books.)


What do you do the rest of the year, after the Book Fair’s over?

(Same thing I do every day, Pinky.)


I donated that book last week. Why haven’t you sorted it onto a pile yet?

(I can’t touch it while the memory of your visit lingers at the back of my mind like the romantic faint, distant aroma of over-ripe roadapples. Now that you’re here again, you’ve gone and set back the schedule another month.)


Can you come pick up my forty-five boxes of books by Tuesday? I could drop them off but I have a lot to do.

(Me too.)


Can you come pick up my shopping bag of books? I live in Missouri, but I’m just over the line.

(I’ll say you’re over the line.)


Why does anybody save all these old books?

(What are you doing in a library?)


Don’t you feel people who read romances are lacking something in their own lives?

(No, I feel that about people who spend their time worrying about what other people read.)


I’d like to volunteer so I can show you how to price these books correctly.  How do I go about doing that?

(You need to submit an application at our special office.  Drive to the end of Navy Pier, and then just keep driving east.)


How much is your commission on what you sell?

(Commission? You think I’d demand mere money when I live on the joy of chatting with folks like you?)

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