CIDE ATT

For those of you keeping track at Anagram Control, that stands for “Conversations I Didn’t Enjoy…At The Time.” With age and experience, I have come to realize a Book Fair Manager gets to meet all kinds of people. ALL kinds of people. All KINDS of people. All kinds of PEOPLE.

“Do you really want six dollars for this book?”

“That’s why I wrote six dollars in the corner there.”

“How about if I buy it for three dollars, read it fast, and then bring it back tomorrow so you can sell it for three dollars again? Then you’ll have six dollars.”

(I never know what to say when confronted by financial genius. The Newberry doesn’t like it when I toss off a witticism like “What kind of lamebrain are you, anyhow?”)

***

“I don’t think you should be selling uncorrected proofs.”

“How so?”

“Well, how’s an author going to feel if he sees you have the uncorrected version of his book for sale?”

“Any author who comes here looking for his own books deserves whatever pain he gets.”

***

“I have a lot of LPs to donate. Do you take LPs?”

“Oh, yes, Ma’am.”

“Some of them are those old LPs that play at 78. Is that okay?”

(That’s just fine, dear. Now please put your Mommy on the phone so I can talk to someone who remembers what an LP is.)

***

“I don’t know about all these old books.”

“Nobody can know about all of them.”

“No, I mean, is it safe to have them out? You have children here. They just see a book and think it’s worth reading. They have no way of knowing it’s outdated and obsolete and nobody reads it any more.”

(Thank you. You’ve just given me hope for our species.)

***

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