Marks and Remarks | Page 46 | Newberry

Marks and Remarks

Why, yes!  Yes, I DO prowl the WorldWideWeb occasionally in search of things people have said about this Book Fair.  And I find to my sorrow that a lot of otherwise intelligent people (the ones who buy books) make a sad, serious mistake when they come shopping.

They let their family and friends tag along.

Now, sometimes this is unavoidable, and sometimes it is not so serious a mistake.  I have mentioned before the young couple who kept reminding each other to save enough money to pay for lunch and finally decided lunch was a luxury when so many essential books for sale were waiting to be bought.

But for those of you who may be facing escort by less sympathetic chums, I have prepared a few answers for some commonly encountered remarks.

Are you going to READ all those?

I’m not sure.  But at secondhand prices I can afford to buy some and change my mind later.

Is this going to take much longer?

No, there are just five more rooms to go.

You can probably download that with my Kindle.

It is my patriotic duty to help support the U.S. paper industry.

What are you going to DO with all those books?

I’m going to block the door so I can’t hear you playing Warcraft on the computer six hours a day.

You never know who’s handled that book before you.

You never finished telling me about who you were dating before I met you.

Don’t you already have enough books on quilting?

The house hasn’t started to tilt yet.

How are you going to PAY for all those books?

Why?  Didn’t you bring your wallet?

You haven’t read half those books you bought here last year.

True.  But I haven’t read ANY of these yet.

I’m getting bored.

Why don’t you ask them at the Squirrelling Section if you can climb into a box and take a nap?

Look at all these insane people pushing around to buy books!

I did.  And I noticed a lot of them are looking at you.

Where are you going to PUT all these books?

Don’t tempt me, butterfly dumpling.

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