MQFY | Page 50 | Newberry


Those of you who participated in last week’s surge of donations brought us some wonderful things. I am NOT complaining. But I was left with a question or two for specific donors. These are not to be taken as criticism, you understand: they are merely pleas for added information.

To the donor who sent me the empty CD cases: Did you have parents who used to donate empty record jackets to the Book Fair?

To the person who brought me the first 4 volumes of a 30-volume set: Are you planning to bring me the rest of the set in May? July? 2013? Or did you start going to some other grocery store after you bought the first four?

To the donor who sent me those boxes she packed up and put into storage after college. I understand about the business textbooks: we don’t really want those, but they were mixed in with other books. And maybe you didn’t notice that all your notebooks were still in there, filled with notes, next to those three-ring binders with the class handouts in ‘em. (None of the handouts were actually punched to have the rings in them, I noticed: you just shoved them into the binders and planned to punch them later on, when you were getting them ready to sit on the shelf in your first office.) But didn’t you notice the long, thin box? Or perhaps you thought I would one day have a use for 700 business cards on which you noted that you were an M.A.T. candidate. Say, if you had only 700 cards left, does that mean you sent out 300 with resumes? Did it work? Or did they demand to see those class handouts and turn you away?

To the person who brought me the book safe: I’m sure you’ve read all my warnings about checking inside your book safes before you drop them off, so what was inside was intended as a donation. But could you write me a note to that effect? I’m having trouble convincing my co-workers you meant it for the Uncle Blogsy Sundae Fund.

To the donor who brought me all those gardening magazines: Was there no room for them in your compost heap after you tore the covers off so no one would steal your name and address from the labels?

To the person who brought me all those post cards: They’re such nice cards I forgive you for the desiccated fifty year-old rubber bands stuck to some of them. But would you like to explain the little envelope of snapshots? Especially that picture of the woman who appears to be trying to step over what looks like a birthday cake on top of an upturned bucket: that one has several of us troubled. (That long skirt surely caught one of the candles: what did you do next?)

Back to that donor with the book safe: Would you make sure you write “Uncle Blogsy’s Sundae Fund”? Some people write “Hot Fudge Sundae Fund” and I feel this hampers my creativity. 

Add new comment