Summer Non-Reading List | Page 72 | Newberry

Summer Non-Reading List

One of the things a lot of people say when they admire the mountain of books where I work is, “Oh, I would just want to stop and read ALL of them!”

I understand this; I really do. And it’s a lot more polite than the people who cry “What is all this? Are you crazy?”

But all I need to do to cure the impulse is to glance at the endflap or the back of the book. There are just some books that let me know I don’t need to spend a lot of time here.

For too long, orthodox historians have concealed the truth about Abraham Lincoln’s suicide.

Kiki Kwikwood is a spunky, independent woman who has a good position with a law firm and the ability to travel to the dimension of Everafter, where she receives instructions and horseracing tips from the Eternal Grandmother. That she can take nothing with her on these trips—even clothing—is no handicap until the night she is accidentally transported to the bedroom of hunky astrophysicist Bolt Broderick, who doesn’t believe in love, lawyers, or transdimensional travel.

For too long, physicians have ignored the curative properties of pencil erasers

Brash ad copywriter Glory Spangle wants everything her boss has, the big car, the palatial Chicago home overlooking Lake Erie….

For too long, Democrats have hidden the truth: that John F. Kennedy died when PT-109 was sunk, and his place was taken by lookalike Communist terrorist Boris Bolonisandovech.

This is the only book YOU’LL EVER NEED to remove all the OBSTRUCTIONS between your current miserable life and the MILLION-DOLLAR LIFESTYLE you’ve always dreamed of!

For too long, the Vatican has suppressed the ancient secrets about the TRUE RELATIONSHIP between Moses and Pharoah’s Daughter!

Our current economic difficulties can be easily explained by a detailed examination of the relationship of the 15th century Moravians to their counterparts in Bohemia. The first five hundred pages of my outline of this pivotal era….

For too long, politicians bent on destroying a native industry have told you only PART of the story! The beneficial effects of asbestos inhalation on the human system are now brought into the open!

Working for fifty years emptying ashtrays in one of the country’s largest investment firms brought me no hints to material wealth, but did enhance my inner treasury in ways I now must share with all humanity.

For too long, the infiltration of American society by lepothropes (men who turn into rabbits) has been suppressed.

These shattering, intensely personal poems about life with ingrown toenails may be too explicit for some readers….

Enough. This paryicular theme can be continued any old time. For too long it has filled space on the website. 

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