Super Bowl Special II | Page 65 | Newberry

Super Bowl Special II

I try not to give advice to the Marketing Department, since I believe they get nearly as many highly useful suggestions as I do anyhow. However, someone in conversation brought up the question of Book Fair ads during the Super Bowl.

At three billion dollars a second, this might seem something of a luxury, but the real reason we’ve never done it is that the Super Bowl does, after all, take place in winter. With nearly five months between their event and ours, it just isn’t a good match.


We can come up with something as clever as those ads they ran this year, something as individual, as unique, as being one of the six commercials about how women mess with men’s lives, or one of the two in which somebody tackled an older woman. Men without pants made for another recurring theme–we will NOT be trying that without strict guidelines on which of the volunteers and/or customers will be allowed to participate.

How about a couple that goes to a house warming and says “We like the way you’ve made the place look as if it’s made out of books?”

“It IS made of books!” says the husband.

“Ooh!” says another guest. “Here’s one I need for my Book Club!” and rips it out of the wall.

“A collectible!” cries another, tearing a boxed set away so that the baby’s high chair topples down the stairs.

“I’ve never read this!” says another, “Oops!”

“Sorry, hon,” says the husband, to his wife in the shower. “Guess I’ll have to make another trip to the Newberry Library Book Fair!”

Or, hey, we could have a man in his coffin, surrounded by all the books he wants to read.

“He is so brilliant!” whispers one of his buddies in the church. “He charged all those books retail, and this was the only way he could get out of paying!”

But the supposed deceased starts laughing so uncontrollably at P.G.Wodehouse that his casket topples over. “Should have gone to the Newberry Library Book Fair,” murmurs Betty White, sitting in a back pew where someone from a Snickers commercial tackles her again.

We could do that, I suppose: team up with another sponsor for shared expenses and a double commercial. The man who crashes the Book Club because they’re drinking his brand of beer could smuggle bottles out in the book safe he bought at the Newberry Library Book Fair. The E*Trade Baby buying books with all that money he made in the market could point out a friend whose stroller is packed with books because HE never heard of the Squirreling Section.  Or a girl could….

Oh, I AM sorry. Out of space for today.

Add new comment