Wear a Book Jacket | Newberry

Wear a Book Jacket

“Uncle Blogsy! Uncle Blogsy!”

“I’m not so good they named me twice, young Bookhopper. What is it?”

“You looked so thoughtful I figured you were asleep.”

“I was considering the philosophical ramifications of a book on Jewish mysticism endorsed by Madonna. What is it that’s important enough to make you crawl out from under the Unabridged Dictionary this time?”

“Uncle Blogsy, are you going to be doing your list of recommendations for Halloween costumes this year?”

“When you can go as yourself and terrify millions….”

“I’d go as you, Uncle Blogsy, only I want people to actually come to the door.”

“Stop trying to score points in my own blog, or I’ll give your something really scary.”

“I guessed you’d be handing your blog book to the trick-or-treaters. But I wanted some book-related costume ideas.”

“Only you know what sort of houses you’ll be haunting this Halloween, sidekick. Would the people really accept you as ‘Presumed Innocent’? Or ‘The Firm’?”

“I’m not even sure my friends would remember those books, Uncle Blogsy. That was a long time ago.”

“Nonsense: they were brand new bestsellers when they came in to the Book Fair.”

“One’s from thirty years ago and one’s twenty-five: they’re both from the last cenur…I am amazed how you can still pick up a whole set of encyclopedias at your age, Uncle Blogsy.”

“I’m amazed how you can still duck under it. If only the CD-rom edition made a decent Ninja star.”

“Don’t you have any ideas for my Halloween costume, Uncle Blogsy?”

“I do, but they’d get this blog shut down. You don’t want to dress as a current bestseller, young apprentice. By Halloween, it could have been completely forgotten. Just carry a can of chow mein and a wok and go as La Choy of Cooking?”

“I don’t want people to drop dead laughing, Uncle Blogsy.”

“Is it all those stitches that make it possible for you to say that with a straight face?”

“I think so.”

“Look, I can sell you one of these copies of Mr. Colbert’s latest book and a playing card. You can go as Steve ‘n’ King.”

“Maybe I’ll go ask at the bookstore.”

“Huh. Remember all the dazed looks you got last year when she dressed you as a vampire version of A.C. McClurg? No, stick with the classics, young Bookhopper. Take this classic toy, for example, and these sacred texts….”

“If this is going to turn into the Divine Sacreds of the Yo-Yo Sisterhood, I am NOT wearing a skirt again.”

“You made it back eventually.”

“Yes, but by that time everyone thought I was doing Lassie-Dome-Home.”

“Maybe you could do a perennial author who has a new bestseller out:John LeCarre has one, and John Patterson, and what letter is Sue Grafton up to these days?”

“Y, Uncle Blogsy.”

“I keep asking myself that, apprentice, every time you drop by.”

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